Truth Or Dare!
by DestinationLullaby
Summary: Tsunade assigns the ninjas to a special mission. What madness will occur? And what are the Akatsuki doing? SasuSaku NaruHina InoShika NejiTen SasoDei
1. The Madness Begins

**Author's Note:** This is my first fanfic I've posted on the net. Flames will be used to make smores. Yes, Sasuke is back from Orochimaru in this fic. And Asuma is not dead, neither is Sasori. Don't ask why.

Chapter 1 - The Madness Begins

For once in a long time, Konoha was peaceful. Sasuke had returned to the village after killing his brother and Orochimaru, Ino and Sakura had stopped arguing, and all was peaceful.

At least, all except one orange clad ninja. Sasuke and Sakura saw him running up to the brige, shouting. "KAKASHI SAYS TRAINING IS CANCELLED, TSUNADE-BAA CHAN WANTS US TO MEET HER IN HER OFFICE AT NOON!"

"Dobe."

"What did you say Sasuke-teme?!"

"Hn. Dobe."

Sakura sighed. Well, Konoha had been peaceful for at least a few minutes.

At noon, team 7 entered Tsunade's office. Also there were the rest of the rookie 9, Gai's team and the Jonins. Although, Gai was nowhere to be found.

"GAI-SENSEI!"

"LEE!"

"GAI-SENSEI!" 

"LEE!"

And after that that unexplainable sunset appeared. Obviously Gai had just entered.

"This is so troublesome."

"I want to eat.." 

"Hn."

"..."

"Woof."

Tsunade sighed. This was gonna be a long day.

"So, Tsunade-Baa Chan, why are we here?"

"Don't call me that Naruto! I've called you here for a special assignment!"

"Ramen?"

"No, not ramen! For gods sake, you have enough of that crap to feed Konoha!"

Jiraya appeared at the window. "Sake?! Will there be girls too?"

Tsunade made an obscene hand gesture at Jiraya and continued. "No, your special assignment is.."

Ten Ten stopped staring at Neji's ass. Sakura stopped thinking about her and Sasuke's future children. Gai and Lee's sunset stopped.

"...Truth Or Dare."

So, like? Hate? Have ideas for truth or dare questions? Just click that shmexy purple button and tell me!


	2. Of Lingerie And French Kisses

My formatting died in the last chapter, so yah, it will get better.

…

**Chapter 2 – Of Lingerie And French Kisses**

Sweatdrops appeared all around. Gai and Lee stopped glomping each other. Girls stopped staring at guys asses. Hinata stopped thinking Jiraya-like thoughts about Naruto. Sakura stopped coming up with her newest plan to stalk Sasuke. Tsunade's boobs stopped bouncing.

"Truth…or…dare? YOU CALLED US HERE FOR TRUTH OR DARE?!"

"Of course, duh. Why else?"

A shuriken was quickly pulled out of Sasuke's leg-shuriken-holder-thingy, but Shikamaru quickly grabbed it off him before anyone was murdered.

"Hn. Let's just sit down and get on with it." 

ZOMG looks appeared on every ninja's face.

"Did hell just freeze over?"

"Sasuke…playing Truth Or Dare?"

And once the genin had come round, the game began.

…

Naruto got to start.

"Hmm…Sasuke-teme, truth or dare?"

"Dare, Dobe."

"I dare you to kiss Sakura-Chan, on the lips, in the closet, for 5 minutes. While me and Ino supervise."

Sasuke visibly paled at the thought. Sakura however stopped staring at his ass and her eyes made their way up to his lips. Inner Sakura nearly died from happiness, but however lived.

"Hn. Whatever."

Naruto, Ino, Sakura and Sasuke walked into the closet. After 5 minutes, Naruto and Ino walked out; clearly disturbed by something they'd seen.

"What's happened?" Shikamaru asked.

Mumbling followed. Neji and Hinata activated their byakugan.

"Oh. My. God." Mumbled Neji.

"What?!"

"They're still at it! And they're not going to stop!"

Gai smiled scarily, and the other Jonin looked at him.

"Yosh! Sasuke and Sakura are going to spread their seeds of youth!"

"Oh Gai-Sensei! It's so beautiful!"

And once again, the sunset of doom appeared.

…

After a few hours in the closet, Sasuke reappeared to give someone else their dare. He was missing his shirt and had Sakura's lipstick all over his curse seal.

"Hn. Kakashi, truth or dare?"

"Truth."

At this point, Naruto ran to Sasuke, whispered something in his ear and smirked. Sasuke nodded and Naruto went away.

"Why won't you ever take off your mask?"

Everyone leaned in, ready to listen.

"Because…"

…

Cliffy! Yes, I have a hilarious reason for him wearing a mask. And yes, I have writers block.


	3. Gangsta Partay!

Wow…2 chapters in 1 night. Amazing. You should have found the clue to Kakashi's reason for the mask in the last chapter. And wow, 243 views in 4 days? I feel loved

…

**Chapter 3 – Gangsta Partay!**

"…the mask is made from a piece of Kurenai's lingerie."

They were all stunned. Kakashi simply took out Icha Icha Paradise until the silence stopped. As he began to turn the page on orgys, Kurenai slapped him hard across the face.

"You pervert! Where the hell did you get those?!"

"Your house. I kinda took them after you got sick and I carried you there."

And another slap came. Wincing and seeing Asuma's glare, Kakashi decided to quickly take the chance to move the game along.

"Hinata, I dare you to act like the ultimate gangsta."

Hinata gulped.

"Fine, whatever yo. I'm rich bitch and you better not forget it!"

Pulling out a gun she shot Icha Icha paradise.

"Naruto, truth or dare bitch?"

"Anou…dare."

"I dare you to fuck me right here, because you are my bitch."

…

I had to stop there. I thought I was going a bit out of control with Hinata's gangstaness. No, this will not be a lemon.

Review!


	4. Michael Jackson?

Ya. Finally updated!

I OWNS NUFFINK T.T

…

"Umm, Hinata-Chan, what does fuck mean?"

And it was at this time that the rest of the ninja sighed. Naruto was pathetically innocent.

"Ya'll can just sing Push it to the limit by Corbin Bleu, bitch."

"But Hinata, that guy should never have signed the contract for that movie! He looked so gay!"

All the ninja, along with Tsunade's boobs nodded. Hinata made Naruto sing it anyway. After 3 minutes of gay dancing and singing by Naruto, Gaara came in. Screaming, he walked straight past Tsunade and used his sand coffin to rip the door off. He bent down and picked up his Nintendo DS he had left during his and Tsunade's last meeting. He started squealing with joy as he turned on Nintendogs and walked out.

And so the game continued.

…

"Tsunade-baa-Chan, truth or dare?"

"WHAT? You can't pick me; I decided to make you do this!"

"And therefore you have to play." Sakura added.

Sighing, Tsunade said, "Fine. Dare." 

Naruto racked his brains for what he could make her do. He HAD to be the next Hokage, and he wouldn't be able to do that if he couldn't think of something very embarrassing.

"I dare you to make out with Ero-Sannin for 10 minutes, in front of us all!"

"WHAAAAAT? Kiss that idiot for 10 minutes?"

And that was Jiraya hung down from the ceiling again. "Wooh, I get to try out the tactics in the new Make Out Paradise!"

And Jiraya glomped Tsunade and began kissing her. And, rather surprisingly, she kissed back. After 10 minutes, Sakura and Naruto pulled them apart quickly.

"At least I only had to deal with Orochimaru's weird curse mark and tales of his son Michael Jackson..."

…

Yay for insanity!


	5. Fire on a stick!

Wooh. Nearly to 30 reviews. I feel special :P

…

Michael Jackson moon walked into the Hokage's office, doing his trademarked squealy thing. He saw Naruto, Sasuke, Shikamaru, Kiba, Shino and Neji all sat on one side of the room.

"Hello, pretty little boys, would you like to come to Neverland and play with me and Blanket? He he heeeeeeeeeeee."

Sasuke and Shikamaru stealthily made sure Naruto said nothing. This was when Michael saw Kakashi. "Oooooh, sexy little boy, come play with meeeee. _Oh fuck this, just give me sex!_"

And that is when Michael left with Kakashi being butt raped over his shoulder.

"Damn, that guy is scary as his father…"

…

And so the game continued. Tsunade, having the wit of a thousand bottles of sake decided to choose Naruto to go next. "Naruto, truth or dare?"

"Truth, Tsunade-Baa-Chan!"

"Do you really think I'm old?" She said pouting.

"Yes. Hinata-Chan, truth or da-" He was stopped as he received a blow to the side of the head.

And that was when Sasuke stood up and faced Tsunade, with a stick of matches on his hand.

"Phweee! Matcheeeessss! Fire on a stick!"

And Sasuke burned down the Hokage's office.

…

Drugs in Sakura's lipstick is my speciality.


	6. Drugs In Your Head

pokes you all I luff joo reviewers!

And yes, if you suggest a dare, no matter how random, I'll attempt to get it in here :P

…

After the ninja had been moved out of the ash filled hobble, Sasuke's blood and Sakura's lipstick tested for crack and Tsunade had beaten the shit out of Naruto, the game continued.

"Hinata-Chan, truth or dare?" 

"Truth, Naruto-Kun.." (AN. Ya, I stopped her stuttering. Because it pisses me off to no end. And she stopped being a gangsta :P)

"Do you like…"

The ninja leaned in, about to see if understand has finally understood that Hinata likes him.

"…ramen?"

And that is when Ino thwapped him over the head with a fish.

"Err…yes, Naruto-Kun?"

…

"Neji, truth or dare?"

"Dare, Hinata-Sama."

"I dare you to sing White and Nerdy, outside of the mountain with the Hokage's, in Ino's brand new pink dress after Sakura has done your hair and makeup."

"I'm beginning to get the idea you have a strange affinity for gay songs."

…

SHORT, I KNOW!

Review to give me ideas :P


	7. Neverland Escapees Hebi!

OMG, I'm still alive people :O I gots MS Word 2007 and I like, don't know how to use it. So I've been trying to figure it out :P Ohyesihave.

Reviewers, ilu kk 3

Disclaimer: Do I LOOK like Kishimoto? No, I don't. kthxbai.

…

So, once makeup had been removed, along with Jiraya and Tsunade who went into a cupboard either to become Harry Potter or to make a baby somehow, the ninja sat down on the internet. How do they gets the internet? I don't know, so don't ask, Orochimaru did it.

Naruto trolled on various forums.

Sasuke looked at emo poetry.

Sakura looked at Sasuke fansites.

Hinata looked at porn.

And the rest looked at random crap.

Orochimaru slinked into the room, and started doing the moonwalk until he thought he was behind Sasuke. From there, he raped said person. Unfortunately, he'd moon walked behind Hinata who was too busy looking at Naruto porn to notice. He screamed, and ran out of the door to Neverland ranch after he discovered he hadn't molested a boy! Oh the shame!

…

The game began again, but this time without Shino, Chouji and Kiba, since we can't really be arsed to deal with them anyway. Akamaru stayed though because I like him :P

Neji began, being the smart-ass he is.

"Jiraya, I dare you to…"

…

Muhahaha. I be burning and vair evil and….doo doo doo doo doo.

Reviewers get another chapter. And yes, Dei and Sasori will come into the story on the next one. I think.


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